11 Ways Your Child Loses When You Rush Him Through Life
“Why do you want your child to hurry up? Because you're done and figure he’s had long enough to finish?
Because you have something else to do?
If so, can that wait so that you can give your child the time he needs?
Because you've promised to be somewhere? …
If you are constantly rushing from one place to the next (doctor’s appointment, haircut, playgroup, music lessons) have you taken on too much?
Should you plan more downtime in your schedule so you have more time to be patient?
More time for play and cuddles?” – drlarryfranks.com
Now that kids are back in school and activities, are you noticing that life is too busy?
Most of us take it for granted that we're always rushing from one thing to the next. That we have a never-ending to-do list that keeps us from catching our breath, never mind catching a sunset together.
But it costs us. And it costs our kids even more. Our society is so hooked on adrenaline that we don't acknowledge the high price our children pay for our lifestyle. Rushing our children through life:
- Influences the developing brain. Your child's brain is being built every day, and the shape it takes depends on his daily experience. Some neurologists hypothesize that reinforcing neural pathways in a daily context of stressful hyper-stimulation creates a brain with a life-long tendency to anxiety and hyper-vigilance.
- Increases the levels of stress hormones in kids' bodies, which contributes to crankiness, difficulty falling asleep, weight gain, and immune suppression.
- Constantly interrupts their developmental work of exploring the world, so they lose their curiosity.
- Overstimulates them so they can't process everything coming at them, which undermines learning.
- Habituates them to busyness, so they become easily bored, craving electronic stimulation.
- Overrides their natural inclination to do it myself, sabotaging the development of competence.
- Creates a chronic feeling of incompleteness, which steals the joy of mastery.
- Makes them feel pushed and controlled, which triggers power struggles. Studies show this feeling–in adults who work at jobs where they're at someone else's beck and call–sends stress hormones sky-rocketing.
- Keeps children from attending to their emotions throughout the day, so in the evening they have a full backpack of feelings pressing for escape. That triggers meltdowns and can eventually lead to addictions like food, media consumption and shopping, which distract us from our emotional baggage.
- Keeps them from discovering and pursuing their own passions, which is necessarily a slow, organic process of experimentation and dabbling.
- Forces them out of the groundedness of the present moment, into the breathlessness of scrambling to keep up, which undermines their authenticity and connection to deeper meaning.
Not to mention, rushing makes us less patient and less nurturing with our children, so it's impossible to parent well. A mom wrote me the other day that after she got into a fight with her daughter, she realized she had been “too distracted, too busy, to slow down and just be kind.”
Embracing Moments of Stillness
This week, notice how often you rush yourself and your child. Notice the price you both pay.
• What can you change to slow life down?
• How can you build more time into transitions so you aren't always rushing?
• What small daily rituals can your family use so that everyone has a chance to connect to deeper meaning, rather than just hustling through each day? (Think deep breaths, gratitude practices, moments of quiet cuddling.)
And maybe even stopping to watch the sunset.
In the midst of our busy lives, it's essential to prioritize the right educational environment for our children. If you've ever considered a Montessori education, now is the perfect time to experience it firsthand at MCDC Poway.
Our approach fosters a collaborative, kind, and autonomous learning environment that could be the ideal fit for your child. Whether you're located in Poway or anywhere in the San Diego area, our dedicated team is ready to assist you.
Don't hesitate to reach out to us at (858) 748-1727 or drop us an email at info@mcdcpoway.com. Together, let's embark on a journey to make the best educational choices for your child's bright future.